I keep saying it; I keep saying I'm going to write regularly and then I don't. Is it that I don't have time? Possibly. Is it that I live a boring life? Also possible. Could it be that I don't know how to write? Not likely, though I may feel like I am lacking the in skills needed to entertain an audience with peals of stomach churning laughter.
I keep trying, though.
Let me tell you about the Ducks of Provo. Yes, Ducks with a capitol D. These are no ordinary ducks; these ducks have evolved into a special breed capable of survive the most vigorous conditions that one can find on a college campus. These Ducks' survival skills are so finely tuned that their senses are pricked by even the slightest movement... of a human being reaching into a bag of bread. Oh yes, these Ducks are so wild, they survive on the breadbasket of the American dream--the leftovers of college students.
Feeding the Ducks is always a nice, fallback activity for the active college student. There is nothing more peaceful than watching ducks swimming lazily around a small pond. The other day, my friend Nathan and I decided to participate in this mind-numbing activity.
We had all of the appropriate equipment (transportation and a supply of bread in the form of hamburger buns), but the experience did not go as planned. To our surprise, we found that the Ducks of Provo are so highly evolved that they have acquired a specific taste. They wouldn't take our bread if there was crust on it. Seriously? Crust.
Piece after piece of perfectly good bread floated and slowly dissolved as the Ducks turned up their beaks at them. Spoiled beasts. My throws quickly turned violent as a aimed my small projectiles at the Ducks.
Finally, victory. I landed a piece directly on the back of a Duck.
Skill. Right there.
That is all. Until next time, my microscopic audience. Don't worry, I'm a microbiology major--I like microscopic. It's the macroscopic creatures that through me..
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